Sometimes living incarnationally is frustrating. Especially for a "do-er" like me. I like to do things. I like to fix things. To start and finish projects, use my hands, implement. In general getting things done gives me life.
So a lifestyle of "being" can be hard for me. While someday we hope to "do" things here, for this first season in the slum our focus is on learning language and culture and trying to build relationships with our neighbors. We want to be with our neighbors so when we finally do something we can see what it might look like from their perspective. Even better, we'll be able to ask them, since they'll be our friends and hopefully trust us enough to tell us the truth.
But sometimes "being" opens doors that nothing else could.
A couple weeks ago my roommate and I were in our room studying when one of the woman from our building came and stood in our doorway. Uninvited and unannounced, over the course of an hour she poured out her life story. Marriage at 15. Physical, verbal and emotional abuse at the hands of her in-laws for 9 years. Being forced to work long and hard hours and not being fed enough.
Why could she tell us this? Particularly "us", two white men from another country? I think it's because she has hand washed clothes next to me. Because we've shared a cup of tea. Because she has laughed with my roommate at the baby in our building. Because we drink water from the same well, shower in the same place, use the same bathroom, walk the same paths, feel the same heat, get wet with the same rain, and breath the same air.
She can trust us to share some of the worst parts of her life because we've entered her world and we try to be a part of it. From our perspective, we don't do anything very special. We just... live. We're just neighbors. We didn't even really do anything special to encourage her to share with us. But it was a beautiful moment where we could listen to her and value her life and her experience and try to show our support for her.
On that day, "being" was probably the most important thing I could have done.
[This was also a glimpse at the tremendous strength of women here. That's an entirely different blog post, but the women put up with incredible abuse and discrimination and they more often than not come out strong and joyful. Seeing that resilience continues to fill me with hope and respect and thankfulness.]
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5 comments:
Great story Kenny. Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful moment for you and wonderful read for us! Maybe you have hit upon something that needs to be done -- something for women and girls in your community. Love you.
I'm with ya in the "do-er" world, K. Sitting, waiting, "being" (ahem... mary vs. martha) is a challenge. I would rather serve God/people by doing something for than listening/waiting/gleaning. Good encouragement, Kenny.
Kenny, good to hear from you! As always- thank you for reminding me of the meaning of incarnational ministry.
Had lunch with Nate today - so good to see him! He mentioned you, so I thought I'd see what you'd been writing lately. Great posts and reflections. Hope you make it down to DC when you're home soon.
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