Tuesday, November 9, 2010

God of the Ambiguous

When the drunk man comes to the door to tell us of his broken life and his departed wife

You are there in the ambiguous

When the most important thing I will do all day is drink a cup of tea with a neighbor or listen to a child

You remind me that the meek are blessed

When I feel broken, weak, and useless because of the loss of control, prestige, productivity and purpose

You are with me and my need for success

When the neighbors come to pushily ask for money to support a community event based around idol worship and I want to support community but not idol worship

You are not fazed by my frustration and confusion

When we want to love our neighbors by having an open door and also want to show respect to our landlord by respecting her wishes about who is let into her building

You love us despite the labels and boxes we put others in

When I try to live simply and to avoid luxuries my neighbors can’t afford and then write blog entries about it on my fancy laptop

You don't shy away from my inconsistency

When a decidedly poor family shows me more hospitality than I know how to return

You remind me I need to be transformed more than them

When I feel incredibly grateful for and accepted my neighbors who rose together to protect me from an unknown man and simultaneously feel distraught that I didn't show that man more hospitality

You are bigger than all my contradictions

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love you very much. Know that always and that we are also praying that you find the answers you are looking for or need.
Dad

Mel Alston said...

So powerful and heart wrenching as I sit here in my safe and comfortable place. You stretch and challenge me Ken!

Love and Prayers,

Gayle said...

Kenny, This blog entry came to me in His time. I will be pondering the Truth of if for a long time.


In His love
Gayle

Aunt Beth said...

Thank you for these last two blog entries, Kenny. What wonderful reminders of the terrible need in our world and at the same time of the unconditional love of Jesus! Your shared thoughts are profound and remind me how special you are. Continued prayers for you and your team for God's grace and peace to enter your daily lives and for His comfort and wisdom to guide you.
Love you and miss you so very much.

Spud Marshall said...

Truly love following this blog, you have a gift in being able to verbalize and translate those uncomfortable and unsettling feelings into something beautifully honest. Thanks for opening up and sharing with all of us - I hope you're having a great Christmas and enjoying the gifts that God has placed throughout your life. And know that you have been a gift to many of us through this blog :)