Remembering

The weekend was harder than I anticipated.

There was lots of rejoicing that Grandma's suffering is over. Lots of joy at seeing the extended family for the first time in a while, and some for the first time in years. Good to play with the cousins' kids. Really good to see old family friends who cared for us when we were little. Many beautiful memories of a loving mother, wife, and grandma and in general a life of hospitality and love. A life well lived.

Still, there was a lot of mourning and sorrow. It's hard to say goodbye to someone you really loved and who loved you. So many good memories. And it was both good and hard to remember Grandpa as well.

As we rejoiced that her battle with Alzheimers is over, it was the first time I really grieved all that the disease took from her. So many of my recent memories of her are just the shadow that was left in the nursing home near the end. It was a blessing to remember her before, and hard to remember the struggle.