Stranger in a Strange Land

I'm not sure how much time I have to blog, so this one might be really disoranized, and no pictures since I'm on an office computer. Oh, and no idea when I might have internet again (a week and a half? a month? 3 days? no clue) so this one might have to suffice for awhile.

So much going on, so I'll try to prioritize. It's been a roller coaster so far. I spent a day with most of the FH phps staff going to CDP graduation things, met the FH-asia director (also the FH-Bangladesh country director) who's a brit, a whole team of kids from Michigan State (I know, why did they have to be from there? j/k they were cool) and the one American on Hunger Corps here for 4 years. It was nice to have a little western influence for the day, especially considering that now I have none... and probably won't have any more for the next 2 months. That night I moved into Nana Magda's house. She lives in a random collection of buildings with her kids, their kids, their cousins, and who knows who else. There are so many people coming in and out I can't keep names straight, let alone family relations. It's essentially a squatter community (wouldn't I love to have that shower/bathroom combo back?) so I'm rocking the cold bucket shower at 5 am when the roosters start crowing (ok, they start at 4, but I ignore them for awhile).

Yesterday we left to join the rest of the FH staff for some training. So it was a tricycle (motorcycle w/ a rigged up side car) ride, 2 jeepney rides, and a train ride to manila, and then a 2 hour van ride to Los Banos. Here's the first hard cultural thing: the staff don't really talk to me, except for Chill, and she's not around much. They are shy, unsure of their english, and I am new. So they mostly ignore me. And Paula (the hungercorps worker) was there (yay for American contact!) but she's battling some other cultural perceptions of americans herself, making it not very appropriate for us to talk much. And since she's sticking it out for 4 years, I definitely didn't want to contribute to them viewing her as "a player", so again, mostly left to my own thoughts. Tomorrow at least I will start interviewing people about the CDP. I actually understand my job! Sort of... At least the mechanics are clear. I get to ask the kids, their parents, the churches/pastors, community leaders, and the FH health advocates about the CDP and how it has affected them. And a lot of it is up to me. There are tons of questions I can ask to sort of grade the CDP on reaching it's goals, but I'm here to find some stories, so I'll be digging as much as I can (through a translator).

Another hard cultural thing... I stand out like crazy. I'm fairly tan, and not that tall (Chill assures me from behind I can pass as a philipino) but once people notice I'm white it's like "whoa! American!". In America, you probably wouldn't have the same reaction... you would see a Philipino walking around PSU or NYC or wherever and just assume they speak english and are american. I'm getting the sense that's because we have diversity. It's just normal to see white people, black people, hispanics, asians, etc. But here, everyone is philipino. everyone. except me.

So let's see, I've had a little more time than I expected to write. It's been hard so far. And it doesn't seem like it's going to get much easier, especially since each week I start over with a new family, staff member, translator, and community. I've got bucket showers, heat, probably little to no internet or contact with you all, and I eat rice constantly. Oh, the food is amazing, by the way. Really good stuff. I got sweet and sour tilapia (sp?) for dinner a couple nights ago. Generally, it's great. It's just... fish and rice, fish and rice, fish and rice. I don't even have a week down yet.

BUT... it has also been amazing so far. I'm learning like crazy. Not just learning about the culture or picking up tagalog words, but learning about my self and my culture. My stubborn insistance on independence... how much I value the things (and comforts) of this world over the things God values. How immense and complex poverty is. And yet, how good God is at the same time. I'm learning a lot about really on Jesus (hard to rely on you all without phones, email, or your presence; hard to rely on me when I'm pretty much out of my league). Prayer and daily devotions have been huge blessings, every single day. I pray for you all a lot (when you don't understand what everyone is talking about, but walking away or reading a book or even asking questions isn't appropriate, not much to do but pray). And God is breaking me of my insistance that I am OK. That I can take care of myself. That I am somehow better than those around me here because I have things. I am just as much in need of God as they are. And in a lot of ways, I think my spiritual poverty exceeds theirs.

Ok, I should wrap this up. It looks to be a hard summer. But a good one too. I need your prayers, and I thank you for them, but I am praying for you too! And the people of the philippines need your prayers too. And so do the poor everywhere. But I think they need our help just as much. Not sure what that means yet, but I'm hoping to get closer to some answers.